Beginnings, Riddles and Ends

On return from an arduous, yet gratifying pilgrimage; much is changed...

While I nurse the effects of the climb, many still have yet to reach the summit of their discord. Anguish seems instead to grow with each passing day. I stand helpless to comfort or heed the outcome for good or ill.

My escape is short lived; she by her fickleness strives still to gain purchase upon my thoughts. To blight an unblemished canvas. To entice once more into the abyss of confusion. Yet a precocious will to resist comes to the fore; in as much as I must forestall her schemes. If not, a lack of action shall willfully exacerbate to situation.

This more misanthropic hardness was needed; so virulent a myopia was it that I faced. Present with a potential as to render future plans implausible.

Though not all is dark; beginnings there are too. A fresh locale and depth of understanding; whereof little was previously purported to be so clear, now thus seems to shine with a fierce luminosity. We both at once in accord with the more esoteric nature of our bond.

My innate rakish plumage still seeks to assert its dominance, to the point of unwanted attraction. But there is no motivation to follow through, for I am content and I am loved.

Emotional Malware: A Relationship Trojan Horse

Familial ties were thus bonded this weekend past...

Still required were the usual parlor tricks. Nonetheless a gladdening outcome achieved and further elated by flattering hopes. Strife has however befallen those dear to me; embroiled in trials of the heart from which no countenance can alleviate so great a sorrow.

More compounded this is by my own reoccurring shadow from the past, which seeks to subsume the present-day. I should not tarry with this aberration from reason, but simply cast it from my thought.  Nevertheless, my kinder character has now it seems become my foe and is powerless to sanction this course. Reason must be weighed with recollection and a symmetry discovered.

To take in this vessel so filled with dysfunction, would be folly. Like the people of Troy peering out upon their gift. Should I burn down this effigy for fear of the jeopardy within?

All intertwines with the fleeting loss of my beloved. I realise now the gravity of my sentiment. For I would have all know; I seek nothing more than to look upon her, discern her breath and feel the warmth.



A Torrent Of Light

Due praise and keen reverence is wholly welcomed...

At last I am fixed upon a resolution that my ideology may indeed be plausible. To bring upon oneself the sense that the forward motion has sincerely begun, is a heartening circumstance.

Even a slight reproach need not bother the senses, as the virtue of steadfastness soon dealt a crushing blow. Notwithstanding that my disposition was such that I could claim to feel the warm breeze of stability caressing my face.

This forfeiture of darkness, now illuminates the hope of better times ahead. A menagerie of revived possibilities now inundate the present; a fervent thrill, tangible in its lustre. My trials thus begin to bear fruit, and not from the want of experience, but through the audacity which I have now passed.

The exuberance of the moment wells up, and brings forth the malevolent venom of arrogance. Which must be admonished with the cool waters of reason; diluted to avoid over-indulgence.

Achilles Heel

All those around seem beset by strife and anguish...

The incontrovertible trials of life beat down hard like the ceaseless rays of an angry sun. Withering the unprepared; and leaving harrowing damage all too visible to the eye.

An air of misgiving fills the lungs; virulent and caustic. Its aim; to wear down even the most robust of wills and bring about a subsidence of faith.

Then an ignoble spectre of the past seeks to interject and press forth the advantage. Somehow sensing the weakness and praying on the vulnerability still rife. A wound which declined to heal, thus ruptured by this cloaked emissary.

However, wise counsel and resilient belief; coupled with a manifest depth between two that love, thus foils the plot to subvert. From this emerges a new paradigm of understanding and repose. The bond is further sealed; now increasingly impervious to outside interference and all the more hardy than before.

The Capricious Nature of Fate

Momentum begins...

Slowly gaining ground like an encroaching tide. At each month's end, headway is made.

Time, it appears, does somewhat in itself denote a purposeful contention; that all will, and does change. A torrent of the unforeseen races ever on, never to be bereft of fear; but instead to recognise it as an acceptable motive.  

Are hope and grit always to be my panacea? an antidote for my woe?

What now?

To brandish the success as a precept; an example of behavior thus far rewarded?

I can survive, I know this now.

A decree, carved in stone by the force of my chosen circumstance. Yet avoiding the persistent repercussions of chance, must be my elementary aspiration. Reducing said risk, a perpetual trial of my spirit.

Begin The Ascent

Faith partially restored...

The Nadir is past. My lowest ebb, now to all intents and purposes, moved beyond. A sensation from which I had become estranged, now rushes forth. This joyous benediction of a financial reprieve. So sorely desired, it now bestows a formidable buoyancy upon my being. 

To chronicle the exploits; auspicious in nature, would be tantamount to blasphemy. 

To scrutinize the flotsam of the past, would only dim the moment. 

Let sleeping dogs lie, and so rejoice in good fortune. However temporary it may thus be. Such repeal of doubt, presents the epitome of all that which I hold dear.  So with inestimable vigor and unquestionable furor, the climb begins. 

Let the escapade continue, unabridged and undiluted.

The Schism Between

 Journey through adversity...

The sky, veiled and bruised. Evidence of some former injury, from which it does now simmer in anger, seeking reprisal. This brooding melancholy, a restless portent of things to come. 

An abrupt awakening from slumber stirred memories, uncommonly clear, but transient. Turning to times leading to this point of crossroad. A previous day of income, ended with a most absorbing final act. 

Drawn together in innocuous discussion with fellow denizens. Arrogant demeanour inflated with a debonair sense of righteousness. Compassionate discourse broke forth, an exercise in connecting to the outside world. Yet ignoring the covenant of good manners, proper action a mere addendum to the thought process. Meddlesome elements sort to steer unto the relgious arena, and thus become bogged down in dogma. 

A beleaguered host struggling under the weight of philistine reactions of an obtuse mind. The grim brevity of empathy shown; a breathtaking spectacle, thus encouraged a willingness to supersede. To spite surly retributions, a soothsayer revealed, to trigger the momentum of secrets unearthed. The wholesome tirade of a well-meaning raconteur. 

So it ended, and a return in thought to the present, where soon the fates will decide whether to scorn or reward.